The rewatch continues with episode 2 of season 3 of HBO’s “Game of Thrones,” “Dark Wings, Dark Words.” Despite some of the usual death and torture, this episode is positively lighthearted in the grand scheme of things. Brienne and Jaime have about ten minutes of hilarious banter before they get themselves captured, Margery shows us all what a boss looks like when she gets Joffrey to like her without wanting to see her insides and Lady MFin’ Olenna arrives with her Cheeseboy to show Kings Landing what no fuck’s given REALLY looks like. Move over, Tywin. Oh, and we also meet Ramsay Bolton, but that won’t be important until later. RIP Hoster Tully

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Johnny and Alex discuss episode 9 of season 2 of “Game of Thrones” – “Blackwater.” A little weary from the cosplay convention they attended this weekend (hold your applause), they decide to try out a new format this week. Instead of a straight recap, we pick our Top 10 Favorite Things from this hour chock full of comedy, gore and attempted infanticide. See the list below for guidance, and let us know if you think we missed something! Oh! And you can find us on Stitcher now! Please rate and comment if that’s where you’re listening.

“Blackwater Top Ten” ——–

10. The Explosion – The part when the ships blow up.

9. Pyromancer Hallyne – Tyrion makes him the happiest man in Westeros.

8. The Gore – This was a bloody one. And a gross one.

7. Tyrion’s “Strategy” – Molotov Cocktail, archers, drop rocks, fight, TUNNELS

6. The Hound’s Feelings – His heart grows a few sizes bigger this ep.

5. Podrick Motherfucking Payne – nuff said.

4. Gallows Humor – A surprisingly witty hour alongside all the graphic violence.

3. Stannis’ Committment – This is when he goes from Stannis to Stannis the Mannis.

2. Tyrion’s Speech – “Don’t fight for riches because you won’t get any.” #truth

1. Drunk Cersei – DRUNK CERSEI

Part I – Alex and Johnny welcome Clotho and Guile from “Close the Door and Come Here,” a “Game of Thrones”/A Song of Ice and Fire Podcast, with leanings toward the Jaime/Brienne relationship. We thought them fitting guest hosts considering episode 8 of season 2, “The Prince of Winterfell” is the first episode that prominently features the Jaime/Brienne ship! Not to mention Yara humiliating Theon, Arya humiliating Ja’qen, Cersei humiliating Tyrion and EVERYONE humiliating Jon. See time codes below for what we get into in Part I and stay tuned for Part II on Thursday!

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Alex and Johnny  talk episode 7 of season 2 of “Game of Thrones,” “A Man Without Honor,” and the corresponding chapters in A Clash of Kings. This is the one where Ygritte plays Jon Snow for the quivering virgin he is, Sansa finally gets a visitor, and Dany finds out Multiple Man stole her dragons. Oh, and Theon kills a couple of kids. NBD.

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Since Johnny’s out of town, Alex and guest-host Chadwick Hubbard talk episode 6 of season 2 of “Game of Thrones,” “The Old Gods and the New,” and the corresponding chapters in A Clash of Kings. MUCH in the way of plot happens this episode – Jon meets Ygritte and one of the most accurate phrases in history is born. At Harrenhal, Arwin keeps reminding us all why they should have been shipped WAY harder, in Kings Landing the Hound rescues Sansa from almost rape, and Tyrion pimpslaps Joffrey for causing a riot. And finally, in the horror aisle, that bald drag queen magician steals Dany’s dragons, and we finally get to see the look on someone’s face as they’re beheaded. Thanks, Theon. RIP, Roderik Cassel. You were a true knight.

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Johnny and Alex discuss episode 5 of season 2 of “Game of Thrones,” “The Ghost of Harrenhal” along with the corresponding chapters of A Clash of Kings. Spoilers ALL. Not much plot movement here (aside from Renly’s untimely demise), but plenty of discovery. Arya finds out she can Postmate murder, Theon realizes that his new crew feels the same way about him that his family does, Tyrion figures out Cersei’s entire defensive strategy is a giant Molotov cocktail (and he’s not mad at it), and Dany Paris Hiltons all over Qarth, but learns of Bobby B’s death between cocktails. Time to invade Westeros now that her dragons can ALMOST cook a cube of meat.

Oh, and Beyond the Wall, the audience finds out that Chuck Norris moved to Westeros, and he goes by the name of Quorin fucking Halfhand.

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Johnny and Alex cover episode 2 of season 2 of HBO’s, “Game of Thrones,” “The Night Lands,” and the corresponding chapters in A CLASH OF KINGS. There are some WRECKED families in Westeros, y’all.